I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
