I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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