bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
