I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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