I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
