So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just want to make out with him forever
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
