: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
