idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm passing your future prison.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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