your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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