I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
