I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I haven't been this sober since birth.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize