He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
