can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
