yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
