he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
