Dual....:-)
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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