im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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