I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
