So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
