My room smells like vodka and shame
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
