Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
