Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
