Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
