We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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