Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
