ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Say something about gay babies.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
