And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize