dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
