Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
