p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
