its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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