Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
