I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
