The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
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