If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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