I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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