no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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