Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just invented taco cereal.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize