I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
