you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
