I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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