The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
