he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
