Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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