What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
