he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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