Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
