im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
