Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
