sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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