Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am available for nakedness
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
