Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My penis needs a shock collar
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
