OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
