i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
