I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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