She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i will never coherently bang her
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize