i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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