conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize