I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
