i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
