Are we in a gay sports bar?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
