i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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