We need to rekindle our bromance
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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